The teachings of Don Juan, 1968
A separate reality, 1971 Further conversations
with Don Juan
Journey to Ixtlan (Simon and Schuster, 1972)
The second ring of power, 1977, Carlos
Casteneda begyndt
Don Juan´s lære:
The teachings of Don Juan, 1968
Feltarbejde under Professor Clemtent Meighan og adskillige andre. 1960 stadig antropologi studerende, University of California, Los Angeles. En ven og hjælper udpeger Don Juan, da Casteneda er i sydvest for at lære om indianernes forhold til magiske planter. Han gammel, hvidhåret, men muskulært stærk og adræt. De introduceres. Casteneda ønsker at få viden om planternes virkninger, særligt peyote.
Besøger ham nogle gange for at tale peyote, men de snakker bare. Vennen forklarer, at han ikke er fra Arizona, men en Yaqui fra Sonora, Mexico. Folk mente han var “brujo”, medicineman/sorcerer.
Et år efter åbnes der op. Don Juan har valgt Casteneda som sin apprentice/elev. Og vil lære ham hvad hans lærer (velgører, og “diablero” -Sonorasprog: en, der kan skifte skikkelse, ofte tror de dyr - coyoter forskellige meninger, nogle tror andre ikke er sådanne mennesker i dyreham) har lært ham.
Don Juan Født i sydvest 1891, tilbragt livet i Mexico. År 1900 tvangsforflyttet med mange andre til central Mexico. Bor i Syd og midt Mexico til 1940.
Begynder læreprocessen juni 1961 til spetember 1965.
Mål at forstå hans undervisning. Overfører en gammel indvielsestradition. Magiske planters mål: at fremkalde ekstraordinær opfattelse af virkeligheden
Genstande med power.
Powergenstande afhænger af ejerens power. 48 kerner, med rød streg, krystaler
og fjer.
“Power rest on the kind of knowledge one
holds”9
Bog opdelt i to dele: beskrivelse og analyse.
Juni 23, 1961
Forskel på hvorfor man vil arbejde med urter for indianere og hvide. Man skal kende sit hjerte og vide nøjagtig hvorfor man vil involvere sig i noget.
Juni 25, 1961
Find dit sted i rummet. Følelse. Det gode sted sitio og det dårlige fjenden. Find stedernes farver.
Ok Mescalito, ikke peyote.
August 7, 1961
Fem andre mænd omkring Don Juan. De kører afsted. Prøve om Mescalito kan lide ham.
Han tygger.
August 5, 1961
August 6, 1961
En af de andre fortæller om hvad han lavede. - var hund
August 17, 1961
Don Juan: Mescalito kan lide dig. Du er ikke indianer, mærkeligt.
“I am going to teach you the secrets that make
up a man of knowledge” 31
August 20
“A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war,
wide-awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance” 32 Mescalito
“An ally is a power a man can bring into his life to help him, advise him, and
give him the strength necessary to perform acts...”32
August 23, 1961
Jimson Weed var Don Juans lærers ally. Rod, stængel og blade, blomster og frø. Betving planten gennem roden. Helbred med stængel og blade. Blomsterne gør til slaver eller syge i hovedet eller dræber. Man spiser aldrig blomsterne eller stængel, blade. Men rødder og frø indtages. Frø er de stærkeste.
September 3, 1961
Don Juan samler to Daturaplanter
Senere Don Juan viser hvordan man skal finde planten, men vil ikke lade Casteneda deltage, kun se. Brug en pind til at grave, der hører til på stedet, og en plantepind, der er ven med planten. Forskel på hun og hanplanter.
Planterne vakses og renses.
September 6, 1961
Med planterne, som Don Juan har samlet skal Casteneda oplæres. Mens roden stødes, synges en sang.
Omen: hvis i morgen er solrig og varm er det godt
Sepember 7, 1961
Det er det. Destilleres en lille klump, og koges til en drik.
Første gang.. Alt gik fint.. Anden del af dne plante skal Cateneda plante selv.
November 23, 1961
Don Juan faldt - fjenden en
ældre kvinde gjorde det “
December 26, 1961
Don Juan udskærer kvindeplanten. Rødder fra både han og hun blandes.plus andre dele + lidt Castenedablod. Figuren glider ned i den kogende gryde. Dukken tørres næste dag. Den anden rod skal plantes et sted af Casteneda.
Januar, 27, 1962
De samler ind i smokemixture. Særligt svampe. Alle ingridienser skal tørre et år.
April 8
A man of knowledge: “A man of knowledge is a
man who has followed truthfully the hardships of learning...He must challange
and defeat the four natural enemies
April 15, 1962
De fire fjender: 1/Frygt. Man lærer aldrig det man tror: Man må ikke løbe væk. Tage skridt for skridt. Selvsikkerhed. Hvis den besejres er det for resten af livet, så kender en mand sine ønsker og begær. 2/Klarhed og sikkerhed forhindrer at man lærer nyt. Men man kan godt leve godt, men man lærer ikke mere.Overvind klarheden, og brug den kun til at se med, og mål den grundigt før nye skridt tages, tænk selv. Ally er hans. 3/Power: Mester. Har power, men ved ikke hvordan den bruges. Han må forstå at power ikke er hans. 4/ Alderdom: Overvind lysten til at slappe af og trække sig tilbage.
December 24, 1961
Mescalito protector and teacher. Underviser i hvordan man lever ordentligt.
Januar 30, 1962
Mescalito tager mennesker til en anden verden. Tager en gennem himlen.
April 12, 1962
Første gang du var på Mescalito fortalte han dig meget, men du var døv og blind.
April 14, 1962
Mescalito viser sig i samme skikkelse for sine venner.
July 6, 1962
Svampe rejse til staten Chihuahua. Sover hos indianske venner. Kommer til mescalito/ peyoteland. På tilbagevejen skal de bare gå, og kun samle dem, der kommer naturligt i vejen. De spiser peyote. Lang oplevelse - møde med Mescalito.
July 3, 1962
Don Juan mener, at Mescalito har været ven mod Casteneda. Sange er personlige. Hvis Mescalito accepterer en, lærer man hans navn, og han viser sig som lys eller som en mand.
Januar 27, 1963
Om anden del af Daturaplanten. Denne del bruges til at se og flyve. Præcist afhænger virkningen af hvem man er.
Januar 28, 1963
Devil weed dræbte næsten Don
Juan.Devil´s weed er kun en ud af millioner af veje. Hvis den ikke føles god må
man ikke blive på den. Does this path have a heart? Har den er den god, har den
ikke er den det ikke. Both
paths leads nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn´t. One makes a joyful
journey; as long as you follow it you are one with it. The other will make you
curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.”
April 18-21, 1963
Casteneda støder Daturaplanter. To lizards. Den ene syet mund, den anden øjne. Spørg lizards om noget. Divination. Slipper dem løs. Pasta af devil weed på tindingerne. Drømmesyn. Ikke klart svar.
Juni 27, 1963
Du skal prøve lizards igen.
Anden portion både divination
Juli 6, 1963
Casteneda plukker sine særlige planter 2 juli og tager dem til Don Juan. Stor forskel på han og hun-planter. 4 juli Forskellige dele af pastaen til forskellige dele af kroppen. Stærk lugt. Elastisk og svævende. Flyver. Vågner nøgen langt væk (ved Daturaplanterne)
I december 1963 starter en ny cyklus af at forberede smoke.Hver gang de mødes holdes piben lidt længere tid.
December 23, 1963
Alt tobak skal bruges indenfor et år.
December 24, 1963
Når røgen er ens ally behøver man ikke ryge den mere.
December 31, 1963
Den 26 havde Casteneda første oplevelse med smoke. Don Juan tænder. Kropslig forandring - smelte. Rumforvridning. Tænke sig selv op. 28 december vågner op. The smoke er en ally.
Januar 28, 1964
Don Juan havde ført Casteneda tilbage, ellers havde han været død. Smoke teaches. For at styre dens stærke power, må man leve et stærkt liv. Strong life
Sidste møde med Mescalito, fire dage, samlet session, peyoteceremoni for lærlinge. To ældre som Don Juan og fire andre lærlinge. Ceremonien fandt sted i Chihuahua, tæt ved Texasgrænsen. Om natten spistes peyote, om dagen gav kvinder deltagerne drikke, og (meget lidt ) mad.
September, 12, 1964
Sep 3 otte peyote, ringe effekt.
Sep 4 peyotesange. Kan ikke nogen. Opdager han kan se lige godt med åbne, som med lukkede øjne.
Sep 5, beder med høj stemme Mescalito om en sang, og får en. Det der findes i kaktussen Lophora williamsii findes levende udenfor. Blåt lys omkring de peyoter de møde på vejen. Mødet med Mescalito, får hans navn, og en vision af sin far, som Casteneda fortæller alt hvad han ville have sagt til ham, fordi han havde sagt til Mescalito at der var noget i vejen med ham, men ikke vidste hvad det var. Don Juan og Casteneda bliver en dag mere sammen med peyotelederen Roberto.
Du er blevet accepteret, nu er du på egen hånd. Sangene bruges til at tilkalde protectoren.
December 28, 1964
Casteneda udfører Datura-plante-ritualet alene, men med lizards. Kommer itl at gnide det på forhovedet Den fremmede tale i hovedet´, som fortæller løsningen på den gåde om bogen, der forsvandt. Lizardstemmen fortæller om det.
December 24, 1964
Fortæller Don Juan om det. Kun store brujos kan gnide det på forhovedet.
December 28 , 1964
Devil´s weed som en kvinde.
Hun tester mænd, sætter fælder og smigrer dem. Har en vej hjerte eller ej?
Hvordan ved du det? A path
with heartt is always enjoyable and easy; it does not make you work at liking
it. To choose a path you must be free from fear or ambition.
December 1964
De samler urter til fjerde smokecyklus.
31 december, 1964
Smoke kræver power, ikke som devil´s weed, der smigrer.
Januar 27, 1965
Der ryges. Drømmeagtigt.
Januar 20, 1965
Don Juan: Jeg lærer dig at være en krage.
Februar 7, 1965
Andet forsøg med smoke. Don Juan. Kroppen forsvinder, kun hovedet tilbage, kan ikke tale, vinker som tegn på at det er forstået. Hagen var kragens ben. Halen kommer ud af halsen. Kæbeben er vinger. Vingerne skulle være meget lange. Gør toppen af hovedet mindre, så du ikke er for tung. Gå rundt og hop, træn. Mund og næse skal vokse indtil det er et næb. Skift fra øje til øje.
Marts 28, 1965
Tredje forsøg med røgen. Ender i en grøft. Tre dage har Don Juan brugt på at få ham tilbage. Havde fløjet. Møder sølvfugle.
Marts 23, 1965
De taler om oplevelsen
April 3, 1965
Husker mere.
April 4, 1965
Husk hvilken retning du fløj med sølvfuglene. Og på hvilket tidspunkt af dagen.
April 10, 1965
En krage kan se det der er levende, fordi det bevæger sig indeni.
Nedskrevet Oktober 29, 1965:
September, 1965
Stopper læreprocessen, på grund af stærk oplevelse: Sep 30 kommer til Don Juan. Ekstraordinære sensations kommer uden planter eller peyote. Smerte kommet efter at have rø’get champignogerne. Don Juan. Du har mistet din sjæl, du er bewitched. Ved ikke hvem, der har taget din sjæl, men vedkommende ønsker at dræbe eller skade dig.
Casteneda får en kampstilling, en kropsstilling. Hvis det er meget farligt kast noget mod fjenden sammen med et krigsskrig. Don Juan forsvinder. Og kommer tilbage forvandlet som et andet væsen i samme krop. Cricket synger højt.
Don Juan kommer tilbage. Hun er en diablera med en god hjælper, der kan gøre ondt. Der er en åbning mellem diableros verden og de levendes verden. Den åbner og lukker som en dør i vinden. For at komme der må man bruge vilje. Her er man alene. Øjeblikket er kommet når lemmerne ryster og lignende. Når de bliver ved er man parat. Glid igennem åbningen. Bagved raser vindene. Så må man vandre. En stærk vandrer kort, en svag vandrer længe. Kommer til et plateau. På plateauet er adgangen til den anden verden. Et skind, som de døde går igennem uden problemer. Brujo må vente på at vinden er stærk og så råbe, så skubbes man igennem. Så må man vandre rundt indtil man finder en hjælper. Spørg hjælperen om at blive en diablero og undervise ham. Så dræber hjælperen een, som underviser. Find en stor brujo på den anden side. Slås så, hvis en anden har taget din sjæl på den side.
Analyse:
Man of knowledge 1/ at lære, 2/ unbending intent 3/ clarity of mind 4/at blive MoK kræver konstant arbejde 5/ MoK er en warrior 6/ uendelig læreproces 7/ MoK har en ally.
1/ Valget fortages af en upersonlig kraft.
2/Man følger lærevejen, ændrer den ikke.
3/ Frihed til at finde en vej, viden om målet, flydende.
4/ Møde udfordringer, effektiv,
5/ Respekt for alt, kunne frygte, være vågen, tro på sig selv.
6/ Følg vejen med et hjerte.
7/ Det vigtigste “ally: a power capable of transporting
a man beyond the boundaries of himself”.
To allies: a/Datura (devil´s weed).
b/psilocybe/smoke.
Formløs
Kvalitet Dature - kvindelig psilocyb - mandlig og giver af ekstase
Kan tæmmes
At få en ally var en
overleveret tradition, der skulle følges nøjagtigt. En benefactor hjalp een.
Lærling (apprentice)
A separate reality, 1971 Further conversations
with Don Juan
Genfortælling af mødet med Don
Juan. Lidt over midelhøjde, hvidt kort hår. Juan Matus kalder han sig.
“You must feel everything around you, otherwise
the world looses its sense” s. 4
Don juan understood and explained the plants as being vehicles, that would conduct or lead a man to certain impersonal forces or “powers” and the states they produced as being the “meetings” that a sorcerer had to have with those “powers” in order to gain control over them. S. 6
Casteneda ønskede ikke at se Don Juan igen efter oktober 1965. Men i april 1968 da første bog var færdig ville han vise den til ham.
“The reason you got scared and quit is because
you felt too damn important...Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and
vain. To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid” s. 7-8
Ønsket om at “se”. Looking er det normale, seeing er at opleve verdens essens.
“Edition of fieldnotes” s. 8
Anden cyklus af læreprocessen.
Kun smoke kan give dig den nødvendige hastighed til at se den flydende verden.
Man kan have forskellige forkærlighed (predilection) Don Juan´s er at se og vide, andres er f.eks. at danse og vide (Don Elias, Sacateca) p. 11 ( Casteneda havde mødt ham i 1962 fortælling s.12ff)
Krav for den, der vil se:
April 2, 1968
The little smoke will help you see men as fibers of light... fibers like white cobwebs. Very fine threads, that circulate from the head to the navel. Thus a man looks like an egg of circulating fibers...every man is in touch with everything else, not through his hands, though, but through a bunch of long fibers that shoot out from the center of his abdomen.Those fibers join a man to his surroundings; they keep his balance; they give him stability... a man is a luminous egg whether he is a beggar or a king...s. 23
Maj 21, 1968
talte om Don Juan´s barnebarn og alt muligt andet. Hvad gør du om aftenen. Du skal bruge dagens mørke til at “se”.
Maj 22, 1968
Casteneda´s system til at forklaring. Hvorfor skulle nogen gide at narre andre der, siger Don Juan.
Det jeg vil undervise dig i er hårdt, og jge synes det var hårdere end du gør. Think about the wonders of seeing... Man må snyde nogle gange, så læreprocessen fortsættes. Tidligere kvinde, der ville slå Casteneda/Don Juan ihjel, og derfor skulle han lære mere. 27-29
Maj 23, 1968
Don Juan solgte urter som und på markedet i Oaxaca. Casteneda fortæller om mødet med Vincente, hvor han fik urter og en plante at plante. Tager til markedet og kigger efter Don Vincente, som kender Don Juan. De snakker. Don Juan kommenterer, at det skulle han først have gjort efter han kunne “se”, ellres var det livsfarligt.Planter den. Møder tre mexikanere, men forstår ikke at de er lysvæsner.
Maj 24, 1968
Dn Juan skælder ud. Don
Vincente´s instruktioner var givet til en, der kan “se”, ikke en, der ikke kan.
“It is useless to
complain...and yet it is so difficult not to do so. Gifts of power happen so
rarely in one´s life; they are unique and precious. Take me for instance;
nobody has ever made me such a gift.”
May 25, 1968
Lærer Casteneda at sætte
dyrefælder for små dyr. Hvad er det at “se”? Det kan ikke beskrives. Der findes
looking, som alle gør og seeing. Ved seeing opleves verden på en anden måde.
Når man Look så er ting de samme, med seeing er de både forskellige og de samme
som før. F.eks. var de mennesker han havde set efter at havde plantet
Vincente´s plante forces. Rettere
don Vincente´s allies.
“The ally is not in the smoke. The smoke takes you where the ally is. When you become one with the ally you need not smoke ever again.” P. 40
Virkelige mennesker er lysvæsner. Allies o. Lign er bare den form vi nu tillægger alt almindeligt. Dyr er tættere på de virkelige kræfter, de ser. De kender bare ikke menneskets maskiner, derfor kan de fanges. Nogle mennesker vi ser (look) er ikke mennesker, bare allies. Side ved et busstopsted og kigge på mennesker, og si allies fra.
Man må opgive alt, der ikke er nødvendigt i ens liv, for at se.
June 10, 1968
Lang rejse med Don Juan for at deltage i en mitote. Casteneda vil teste sin “snyde-ide”. Denne gang skal du deltage kun for at se, du skal ikke spise peyote.
At kunne bære varme. Jeg måtte udholde sult som lille siger Don Juan.
“You came because you wanted to come. That is the warrior´s way...Worry and think before you make any decision, but once you make it, be on your way free from worries and thought; there will be a million other decisions still awaiting you...A warrior thinks of his death when things become unclear...Because the idea of death is the only thing that tempers our spirit. S. 47
Kommer til stedet i norøst Mexico den 13 juni. To ældre kvinder og fire piger er der. Og en stor gruppe mænd i huset. Har mødt en af dem før, som hilser ham varmt. Ten women, eleven men. De vandrer. Castenedas rolle at bringe vand til deltagerne. Ledere Mocho og Don Silvio. Kvinderne bliver i huset. Peyotesange synges. Vision af hans mor. Don Juan: et vigtigt tegn (omen) på forbindelsen med Mescalito.
September 4, 1968
Casteneda tager til Sonora for at besøge Don Juan. Købte en flaske tequila, bacanora. Til Don Juan´s barnebarn Lucio. Havde mødt ham to år før (fejl?). Klædt i læderjakke og fine støvler, imodsætning til de fleste Yaqui med khaki, Levis, stråhatte og hjemmelavede sandaler (guaraches). Om aftenen til fest otte mænd. Er Casteneda tequilasælger, nej han er min lærling udi mescalito siger Don Juan vil fortælle om mescalito Madness eller ikke? Taler også om Macario, der var med i krigen i Europa. Don Juan prøver at forklare. You don´t have a protector. Istedet for at drikke ville Lucio finde en tilfredsstillende mening. Booze make crazy, Mescalito sharpens everything.
September 6, 1968
Lucio og to venner (Benigno og Eligio) fra festen kommer, taler med Casteneda. De går på jagt. Vil tage peytote hvis u vil give ham en motorcykel. De håner Don Juan på forskellig måde. Man kan ikke snige sig ind på en brujo, selvom han er gammel. Men når han sover ( sådan myrdede de Cervicas). Eligio spørger om hvad der sker når man tager peyote, derefter synger Don Juan noget for ham på Yaqui. , og vil ikke oversætte det for Casteneda. “Alt er Yori´s” (de hvides).
September 15, 1968
Eligio prøver med Don Juan i Lucio´s hus. Eligio “danser”, klatrer, springer, synger. Don Juan: Selvfølgelig var det for at vække Lucio. Spørg ikke Eligion. Hans rejse er alt han har, fordi han er indianer. “We must know first that our acts are useless, and yet we must proceed as if we didn´t know it. That is a sorcerers controlled folly.” S. 77
Oktober 3, 1968
Casteneda så næsten den aften Eligio var på.
Controlled folly “I am happy that you finally asked me about my controlled folly after so many years, and yet it wouldn´t have mattered to me in the least if you had never asked. Yet I have chosen to feel happy, as if I cared, that you asked, as if it would matter that I care. That is controlled folly. S. 78
“With whom do you exercise controlled folly...? With everybody...every time I act...My acts are sincere...but they are only the acts of an actor... But that cannot be true...that would mean that nothing matters to you and you don´t really care about anything or anybody. Do you mean that you don´t care whether or not I become a man of knowledge, or whether I live, or die, or do anything? True I don´t. You are like Lucio, or everybody else in my life, my controlled folly” S 79.
“If nothing matters to you, how can you go on living? “Certain things in your life matter to you because they are important to you, but for me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts or the acts of any of my fellow men. I go on living though, because I have my will. Because I have tempered my will throughout my life until it´s neat and wholesome and now it doesn´t matter to me that nothing matters. My will ontrols the folly of my life.s. 80
“Once a man learns to see he finds himself alone in the world with nothing but folly...We learn to think about everything, and then we train our eyes to look as we think about the things we look at. We look at ourselves already thinking, that we are important. And therefore we´ve got to feel important. But then when a man learns to see, he realizes that he can no longer think about.
“Clean these plants here” Casteneda følger Don Juan´s ordrer. “
Don Juan: “I am happy because I choose to look at things that make me happy, and then my eyes catch their funny edge, and I laugh...One must always choose the path with heart in order to be at one´s best, perhaps so one can always laugh...” s. 84 why not also choose death? Many men of knowledge do that. One day they simply disappear. They choose to die because it doesn´t matter to them. On the other hand I choose to live, and to laugh, not because it matters, but because the choice is the bend of my nature... by thinking he meant the constant idea that we have of everything in the world... I told you once that our lot as men is to learn, for good or bad. For me nothing matters, but perhaps for you everything will. You should know by now, that a man of knowledge lives by acting, not by thinking about acting, nor by thinking what he will think when he has finished acting... so when he fulfills his acts he retreats in peace, and whether his acts were good or bad, or worked or didn´t is in no way part of his concern. A man of knowledge may choose on the other hand to remain totally impassive and never act, and behave as if to be impassive really matters to him...”85
“One goes to knowledge or to war with fear, with respect, aware that one is going to war, and with absolute confidence in oneself. Put your trust in yourself, not in me” 88
“...for me there is no victory, no defeat or emptiness...in order to become a man of knowledge one must be a warrior, not a whimpering child. One must strive without giving up, without a complaint, without flinching, until one sees, only to realize then that nothing matters” 88
Oktober 4, 1968
“Min søn Eulalio blev knust af klipper under bygning af en motorvej. Jeg så hans død, ingen sadness eller feeling. Controlled folly kun med mennesker, ikke med ally eller mescalito.
Oktober 5, 1968
Du må aldrig fortælle navnet på en sorcerer eller hvor han er. Det må du også love hvad angår en ven du skal kalde Don Genaro. Yngre end Don Juan i begyndelsen af 60-erne. Lille, slank og mørk, ligner lidt en rovfugl. Du må ikke have nogen doubts når du møder ham. De vandrer sammenop i bjergene for at samle urter. De to gamle sidder i trance/mditation/stilhed.
“You must talk to the plants before you pick them...In order to see the plants you must talk to them individually; then the plants can tell you anything you care to know about them.
De har faste siddepladser ved deres meditation, Don Juan mod de vestlige bjerge, don Genaro mod nord. Casteneda skal sidde overfor dem, med ansigtet mod sydøst.
“When a sorcerer attempts to see, he attempts to gain power”.
Don Genaro ler af Casteneda´s tagen noter, men accepterer det lidt senere.
Don Genaro ler og står på hovedet på en usandsynlig måde, og laver usandsynlige lyde
Oktober 17, 1968
Don Genaro fortæller om den anden verden. En master sorcerer er en ørn, eller rettere kan forvandle sig til en ørn. En ond sorcerer er en ugle (tecolote), og var barn af natten og havde kattedyr eller natfugle, som uglen. Brujos liricos, lyriske sorcerers (dilletanter) foretrak andre væsner, som f.eks. kragen. En mester sorcerer kan tage sin elev på en rejse gennem den anden verdens ti lag. Evil sorcerere eller dilletanter kan kun gå igennem tre.
Mødet med Nestor og Pablito, Don Genaro´s elever. Don Genaro tager sit enrgitøj på. Et bælte med syv ting hængende. Hovedbånd med fjer. Går mod vandfaldet, mens de andre kigger på. Han klatrer opad, synes at falde flere gange, men holder alligevel fast på en eller anden måde. Kaster sig i ned og laver umulige spring. Det begynder at regne og de går. Casteneda er stærkt påvirket af Don Genaro.
Oktober 23, 1968
Det var en øvelse i at se, og det gjorde Casteneda ikke, men måske heller ikke Pablito eller Nestor.
“...human beings were, for those who saw, luminous beings composed of something like fibers of light, which rotated from the front to the back and maintained the appearance of an egg...the most astonishing part of the egg-like creatures was a set of long fibers that came out of the area around the navel; don Juan said, that those fibers were of the uttermost importance in the life of a man. Those fibers were the secret of Don Genaro´s balance and his lesson had nothing to do with acrobatic jumps...His feat was in the way he used the tentacle fibers.” S. 106
Oktober 24, 1968
Weak persons have very short, almost invicible fibers; strong persons have bright, long ones...You can tell from the fibers if a person is healthy, or if he is sick, or if he is, mean, or kind or treacherous. You can also tell from the fibers whether a man can see... When Genaro saw you he knew, just like my friend Vicente did, that you could see...” 106
Pablito saw nearly all of Genaro´s movements. Nestor...saw only the most obvious maneuvres...But you, you saw nothing at all...” 107
November 8, 1968
Casteneda kommer til Don Juan, men kan ikke finde ham. Finder ham. Casteneda vil gerne se, men uden røgen. Don Juan siger det må ske gennem røgen. “Only the smoke can give you the speed you need to catch the fleeting world... The world, when you see, is not as you think it is now. It is rather a fleeting world that moves and changes...”112
Don Juan siger at det er Mescalito´s vilje, at Casteneda ser. Faste. Smoke. Denne gang skal du blot se, den guardian, der guards the other world. Du skal være bange, det er du ikke. Du er bare bange for at miste din clarity. Ryger. Look with the left eye. Koncentrer på jorden foran dig. Look for the guardian. Rejser sig op. Ser et forfærdeligt, enormt væsen, korte vinger. Cirkler foran ham. Væk. Kommer igen helt tæt på, rammer hans øjne med sine vinger. Enorm smerte. Don juan bringer ham tilbage ved at gnide hans krop, og kaste ham i åen. Senere spiser han toirtillas.
“If you want to see you must conquer the guardian. The guardian is a gnat (myg).
November 11, 1968
Casteneda ryger igen. Sæt dig op, hvis du bliver bange, og beskyt dig med højre arm. Men musklerne er udenfor kontrol. Brug viljen. Hold øjnene åbne. Casteneda rejser sig med viljen, men ved ikke hvordan han gjorde det.
November 12, 1968
De samler planter. Don Juan mener at Casteneda har fået mange gaver og megen hjælp. Don Juan havde større problemer end han. Han holdt op i fem et halvt år.
Januar 18, 1969
Smoke. Mødet med endnu en guardianmyg, der bliver til et enormt væsen - et krodilleagtig med millioner af øjne. Den angriber som en tyr, og Casteneda skriger.
Januar 19, 1969
Du kan ikke klare den guardian. Du må aldrig møde den igen, ellers vil den tage dig væk. Man kan også se the guardian uden smoke. Men smoke giver en vis beskyttelse.
April 24, 1969
Yor hurry whe nyou should wait, and wait when you should hurry. Live like a warrior!... a warrior takes responsibility for his acts; for the most trivial of his acts.... Du har fulgt alt hvad jeg har undervist, som har fulgt hvad min benefactor lærte mig. The rule is right, the steps cannot be changed. You have done everything one has to do, and yet you do not see.
Perhaps it is a promise... a promise you made long ago... You promised something very important once... Why was your choildhood sad... I told him that my childhood had not really been sad, but perhaps a bit difficult.
You haven´t been defeated yet...
to be defeated was a condition of life, which was unavoidable. Men were either victorious or defeated and depending on that they became percecutors or victims. These two conditions were prevalent as long as one did not “see”; “seeing” dispelled the illusion of victory, or defeat, or suffering.
I see a little boy crying. He is hurt, and he is looking at you. En lille dreng som han drillede, som han væltede så han knækkede kragebenet. Derefter besluttede Casteneda sig for aldrig at være sejrrig mere, hvis drengen kom sig.
Now you must change your promise. You must wait patiently, and know what you wait for. Only the little boy can cancel your act...By learning to reduce his wants to nothing.
What makes us unhappy is to want. To be poor, or wanting is only a thought; and so is to hate, or to be hungry or to be in pain.
A warrior knows what he is waiting for; and while he waits he wants nothing and thus whatever he gets is more than he can take.
“I also made a vow once...I promised my father that I would live to destroy his assassins... Now the promise is changed, I am no longer interested in destroying anybody... Today I feel sad not because my mother asnd father died the way they did; I feel sad because they were Indians. They lived like Indians and died like Indians, and never knew that they were, before anything else, men. S. 143
Maj 30, 1969
...Perhaps the first thing one should do is to know that one can develop the will. A warrior knows that and proceeds to wait for it. Your mistake is not to know that you are waiting for your will...My benefactor told me a warrior knows that he is waiting, and knows what he is waiting for.
There is a gap in us...at the place of your luminous fibers, he said pointing to the abdominal area... It is an opening. It allows a space for the will to shoot out like an arrow...What a sorcerer calls will is a power within ourselves... Will is what can make you succeed when your thoughts tell you that you are defeated. Will is what makes you invulnerable
Viljen er en kraft, som er den virkelige kæde mellem mennesker og verden. What a sorcerer calls will comes from within and attaches itself to the world out there. It comes out through the belly, right here, where the luminous fibers are.” He rubbed his navel to point out the area. “I say that it comes out through here because one can feel it coming out... An avarage man can “grab” the things of the world only with his hands, or his eyes or his ears, but a sorcerer can grab them also with his nose, or his tongue, or his will, especially with his will.
You must live like a warrior... now you must detatch yourself from everything” That is impossible. I don´t wan´t to be a hermit”. Man skal huske på døden, so “he is sufficiently detached, so he cannot deny himself anything... His decisions are final, simply because his death does not permit him time to cling to anything... And thus with an awareness of his death, with his detachment, and with the power of his decisions a warriorsets his life in a strategical manner. The knowledge of his death guides him and makes him detached and silently lusty... When a warrior has acquired patience he is on his way to will. He knows how to wait....His death advises him, in mysterious ways, hoe to choose, how to live strategically... and one day he succeeds in performing something ordinarily quite impossible to accomplish, or as impossible things keep on happening to him, he becomes aware that a sort of power is emering... At first it is an itching on the belly, or a warm spot that cannot be soothed; then it becomes a pain, a great discomfort... A fine power is always heralded by great pain. 151-152
“When the convulsions cease the warrior notices he has strange feelings about things. He notices he can actually touch anything he wants with a feeling that comes out of his body from a spot right below or right above his navel... That feeling is the will, and when he is capable of grabbing with it, one can rightfully say that the warrior is a sorcerer, and that he has aquired will” s. 152
Don juan standsede en tiger, der ville angribe ham, første gang han oplevede sin vilje.
But a man can go still further; a man can learn to see. Upon learning to see a man becomes everything by becoming nothing... he desires nothing, and instead of playing with his fellow men like they were toys, he meets them in the midst of their folly.
Seeing is for impeccable men. Temper your spirit now, become a warrior, learn to see, and then you´ll know that there is no end to the new worlds for your vision” s 154
Juni 28, 1969
Smoke. For at rejse sig at gå, ved hjælp af viljen. Kan ikke komme op. Føler sig delt i en fader og søn. En fader, der vil forme sønnen. I must let him go. Pludselig får han lyst til at fortælle Don Juan om det, og rejser sig og finder ham. Men istedet for at se Don Juan ser han noget enormt stort lysende. Don Juan fører ham til vandet, hvor han skal se på vandet
“In what way would seeing be different? “When you see there are no longer familiar features in the world. Everything is new. Everything has never happened before. The world is incredible”159
things simply become nothing and yet they are still there.
Don Juan spiller på et lille mærkeligt strengeinstrument, mens Castenda sidder i en geologisk formation, der forstærker lydene med ekkoer. Instrumentet er en spiritcatcher og Casteneda bliver meget bange for vandhullets spirit.
En dag skal du selv lave en.
Smoke. Casteneda rejser sig op uden problemer, og Don Juan fører ham til vandet, hvor vandet forvandler sig til røg.
Seeing is a technique one has to learn. Or maybe it is a technique some of us already know.
De vandrer. Don Juan begynder med sin spiritcatcher.
August 8, 1969
“Is the green fog (of the water), like the guardian, something that one has to overcome in order to see...Yes one must overcome everything...How can I overcome the green fog? The same way you should have overcome the guardian, by letting it turn into nothing” s. 169
“You thought it was ugly. Its size was awesome. It was a monster. You know what all those things are. So the guardian was always something you knew, and as long as it was something you knew you did not see it...the guardian had to become nothing and yet it had to stand in front of you...”s. 170
Smoke ved flodens bred - en varm dag. Betragter vandet. Koncentrer på vandets overflade, men bliv ikke suget ind i den røg du kommer til at se. Se bobler. De vokser. Han flyder med dem. Bliver en boble. Boblerne flyder mod syd. “Today you learned that a brujo uses the water to move.
“You always insist on knowing things from the beginning, he said, but there is no beginning; the beginning is only in your thought... s. 177
“All I know is that you travelled very far”
“A warrior does not abandon himself to anything, not even to his death. A warrior is not a willing partner; a warrior is not a willing partner; a warrior is not available, and if he involves himself with something, you can be sure that he is aware of what he is doing...”s. 180
Lucas, a very fine old yaqui kører galt: men Don Juan siger han ikke er en brujo, ikke en warrior.
“Life for a warrior is an exercise in strategy...but you want to find the meaning of life. A warrior doesn´t care about meanings...HE would be battling to the end.
Casteneda vil bare påpege at elv en warrior kan ikke gardere sig, men Don Juan fejer ham af, og siger:
“All I can say you... is that a warior is never available... What you call accidents are most of the time, very easy to avoid, except for fools who are living helter-skelter.
September 3, 1969
Smoke to gange. De vandrer. Ser Don Juan som lys. Se manden på marken. Men der er ingen. Se hver eneste detalje. Ser manden. Ser mange lysfænomener. Don Juan smider ham i vandet. Ser manden igen, mister synet for kort tid.
“You saw the ally, no big deal”190
“By looking at you he meant he welcomes you. He showed you, you need a spirit catcher and a pouch, but not from this area; his bag was from another part of the country”. Don Juan tvinger Casteneda til at blive, fordi han endnu ikke er blevet rask... eller “solid”. Casteneda spørger Don Juan om døden, og fortæller ham om Den tibetanske dødebog. Det er ikke sådan han forstår det at se. “When a man learns to see, not a single thing he knows prevails.
“Death is a whorl...Death is the face of the ally; death is a shiny cloud over the horizon; death is the whisper of Mescalito in your ears; death is the toothless mouth of the guardian; death is Genaro sitting in his head; dead is me talking; death is you and your writing pad; death is nothing. Nothing! It is here yet is isn´t here at all”...I cannot tell you what death is like. But perhaps I can tell you about your own death...” 195
Death has two stages. The first is a blackout... in which one experiences a lightness that makes one feel happy, complete, and that everything in the world is at ease.... The second, however, is the real stage where one meets death; it is a brief moment, after the first blackout, when we find that we are, somehow ourselves again. It is then that death smashes against us with quiet fury and power until it dissolves our lives into nothing... The little smoke has shown me my unmistakable death with clarity... døden vil så fare mod Casteneda, sikkert i bil, flere gang, fordi han er stærk,... it would enter you with uncontrollable force and would make you expand; it would make you flat and extend you over the sky and the earth and beyond. And you would be like a fog of tiny crystals moving, moving away... Death enters through the belly... right through the gap of the will. That area is the most important and sensitive part of man... Don juan laver qi-gong: 198
Don Juan fastholder bilen, så den ikke kan starte.
September 28, 1969
Casteneda ankommer, men kan ikke finde Don Juan, og har den samme fornemmelse som historien med Catalina, sorcererkvinden, der kunne forvandle sig til en solsort, og ønskede at dræbe Don Juan. Don Juan beder Casteneda om at købe et gevær for at skyde solsorten, samtidig med at han skriger. Don Juan spørger om han virkelig vil hjælpe ham. Han får en vildsvinebørste, som han skal gennembore hende med.
“I still have so many things pending in my life, I said. So many things unresolved”... Don Juan chuckled softly. “Nothing is pending in the world”, he said. “Nothing is finished, yet nothing is unresolved...” 209
Han render mod hende og smider den. Hun smiler... Men Don Juan siger det var et trick: “Today I have trapped you and I have tricked you into learning”:
Casteneda bliver rasende.
“I have heard you say time and time again, that you are always prepared to die... A warrior should only be prepared to battle. I have also heard you say, that your parents injured your spirit. I think the spirit of man is something, that can be injured very easily, although not by the same acts that you call injourous. I vbelieve, that your parents did injure you by making you indulgent and soft, and given to dwelling...The spirit of the warrior is not geared to indulging and complaining, nor is it geared to winning or loosing. The spirit of the warrior is geared only to struggle, and every struggle is a warrior´s last battle on earth. Thus the outcome matters very little to him. In his last battle on earth a warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear. And as he wages his battle, knowing that his will is impeccable, a warrior laughs and laughs”215
They go out to hunt. This time only to observere, to find the animal to hunt.
“I said, that a warrior selects the items that make his world. He selects deliberately, for every items he chooses is a shield, that protects him from the onslaughts of the forces he is striving to use... People are busy doing that which people do. Those are their shields. Whenever a sorcerer has an encounter with any of those inexplicable and unbending forces we have talked about, his gab opens, making him moree susceptible to his death, than he ordinary is; I’ ve told you, that we die through that gap, therefore of ot is open, one should have his will ready to fill it; that is, if one is a warrior... ( Anger can be used for non-warriors to close the gap)... Act like a warrior, and select the items of your world... Then if any of those forces tap you and open your gap, you must deliberately strive to close it by yourself. For that purpose you must have a selected number of things that give you great peace and pleasure, things which you can deliberately use to take your thoughts from your fright and close your gap and make you solid. What kind of things... The things a warrior selects to his shields are the items of a path with heart... You talk too much to your self... I’ll tell you what we talk to ourselves about. We talk about our world. In fact we maintain our world with our inner talk... A warrior is aware of this and strives to stop his talking. This is the last point you have to know if you want to live like a warrior... A warrior is aware that the world will change as soon as he stops talking to himself... and he must be prepared for that instrumental jolt... We never learn that the things we do as people are only shields and we let them dominate and topple our lives... The world is all that is encased here, he said, and stomped the ground. Life, death, the allies, and everything else that surrounds us. The world is incomprehensible. We won’t ever understand it... Thus we must treat it, as a sheer mystery... An average man does not do this . The world is never a mystery for him, and when he arrives at old age he is convinced he has nothing more to live for... and thus a warior treats the world as an endless mystery and what people do as endless folly.
I began the exercise of listening to the “sounds of the world”, and kept at it in two months. Listen, not look, not speak to one self. After two months able to shut the inner dialogue for short times.
November 10, 1969
Tager ud til bjergene mod øst.
De vandrer op i bjergene. Casteneda skal finde ud af hvilket vildt han skal
jage. Og Don Juan gentager flere gange, at han skal finde “huller” ved hjælp af
“seeing”. Focus all attention on sounds, and find holes between the sounds.
Don Juan spiller på sin spiritcatcher. Fuglesang, vindens hastigheder, buzzing
insects. Vinden leger kispus. Og mange andre mærkelige lyde, og pludselig et
klart, langt skrig. Pludselig kan han høre mellemrummene mellem lydene, og en
orden træder frem. Skifter fra at høre til at se. Se allyen med hat
“Do you mean your spiritcatcher is made of wild boar?” No, nothing in life is made out of anything else. If something is anything at all, it is the thing it self... What is a spiritcatcher? It is a fiber. With it I can call allies, or my own ally, or I can call the spirits of waterholes, the spirtis of rivers, the spirits of mountains... Those spirits are helpers... What do they look like? They are different for every man, and so are the allies. For you an ally would apparently look like a man you once knew, or like a man you will always be about to know; that’s the bend of your nature. You are given to mysteries and secrets. I am not like you, so an ally for me is something very precise... How can I get a spiritcatcher now? Apparently the ally is going to give you one himself... 228
December 15, 1969
“You must determine the right direction immediately upon arriving at the top of a hill. As soon as you are on the top, face that direction... He said, that as soon as I reached the hilltop, I had to extend my right arm in front of me, with the palm of my hand down, and my fingers stretched like a fan, except the thumb, which had to be tucked against the palm. Next I had to turn my head to the north and fold my arm over my chest, pointing my hand also toward the north; then I had to dance, putting my left foot behind my right one, beating the ground with the tip of my left toes. He said, that if I felt a warmth coming up my left leg I had to begin sweeping my arm slowly from north to south, and then to the north again... The spot over which the palm of your hand feels warm as you sweep your arm, is the place where you must sit, and it is also the direction in which you must look... If the spot is toward the east, or if it is in that direction (pointing to the southeast), the results will be excellent... north =bad beating, nut you may turn the tide in your faour, south = a hard fight.... If you decide to stick around, clean an area big enough to build a fire about five feet away from your first point. The fire must be in a straight line in the direction you are looking. The area, where you build the fire is your second point. Then gather all the twigs you can in between those two points and make a fire. Sit on your first point and look at the fire. Sooner or later the spirit will come and you will see it.... Derefter beskrives forskellige teknikker til at undslippe, hvis hånden ikke bliver varm efter de fejende bevægelser.” 228
Casteneda gennemgår dette. Han får at vide, at han ikke skal kigge ind i flammerne, men bare i ildens retning, men der sker ikke så meget, selvom han ser en skygge.
“There are three kinds of beings... those, who cannot give anything, because they have nothing to give, those that can only cause fright, and those that have gifts. The one you saw last night; it has nothing to give; it is only a shadow... The nasty type follows people right into their homes and makes life impossible for them ... the only wise thing one can do with that nasty type is to forget about it, and leave it alone.”
Don Juan said that any kind of gear, or any object, that was touched by a spirit rightfully became a power object. However, the nasty type of being was known never to touch anything, but only to produce the auditory illusion of noice.”
Don Juan said, that the third type of spirit was a true ally, a giver of secrets; that special type existed in lonely, abandoned places, places, which were almost inaccessible. He said, that a man who wished to find one of these beings had to travel far and go by himself.... There were many ways in which such a being put a warrior to the test... those were truely dangerous forces, and allthough they could not kill a man hand to hand, they could cause his death by fright...”
December 17, 1969
Don Juan siger til Casteneda, at nu er han parat til alene at gå ud og skaffe en spiritcatcher, men ændrer sig, og vil følges med ham ud til bjergene. De vandrer langt )på lidt vand og nogle tortillas). Casteneda bliver så sendt af sted alene, m,en bliver bange, og begynder at råber efter Don Juan, som ikke dukker op. Han lægger sig ned i flere timer, Han gennemfører så ritualet på en bakketop, og sidder længe, falder lidt hen undertiden, men vækkes så af en lyd, som et skud, oppe over venstre øre. Han tænker først at nogen har skudt på ham, så at det må være Don Juan. Lyden af knækkende grene over det hele. Så slubrelyde. Over det hele. Don Juan ville ikke kunne gøre det. Lydene angriber hans mave. Lyde som fugle over hovedet. Derefter stilhed. Han mærker angsten, men overvældes ikke. Han synger peyotesange. Tænker på hvad en kriger ville gøre. Hans hals “angribes” af små bevægelser. Falder i søvn på vejen hjem. Vækkes af Don Juan.
Oktober 16, 1970.
Afslutningen på een lærecyklus, og begyndelsen på en ny. Don Genaro og Don Juan venter ham ved Don Juan’s hus.
“The hot wind tells extraordinary things to my body.”
Genaro: “So you finally encountered an ally”. Genaro lægger hånden på Castnedas skulder, så han vælter
“The warrior allows the ally to come only when he is good and ready. When he is strong enough to grapple with the ally, he opens his gap, and lurches out, grabs the ally, keeps him pinned down, and maintains his stare on him for exactly the time he has to, then he moves his eyes away and releases the ally and lets him go...”250
“I never said seeing is a matter of the eyes alone” 252
Don Juan og Genaro fremkalder lyden af torden. Og Casteneda ser lyden, ser en enorm stenblok falde midt i huset. Don Genaro flytter Casteneda uden at røre ham. Genaro laver enorme øjne. Casteneda får besked på at følge efter Don Genaro, som flytter om på sin krop, så Casteneda ikke kan finde ham.
Oktober 18, 1970
“You don’t think I understand, do you...” “I suppose you do... You understand, that Genaro was behind you all the time. However, understanding is not the real point... Your mind is set to seek only one side of this... He took a dry twig and moved it in the air. He was not drawing in the air, or making a figure; what he did resembled the movements he makes with his fingers when he cleans the debris from a pile of seeds. His movements were like the soft prodding or scratching the air with the twig... He drew closer and repeated his movements, making eight points on the ground. He circled the first point. “You are here” he said, “ we are all here; this is feeling, and we move from here to here.” He circled the second, which he had drwn right above number one. He then moved his twig back and forth between the two points to portray a heavy traffic. “There are, however, six more points a man is capable of handling, “he said. “ Most men know nothing about them.”... “To move between points one and two you call understanding. You have been doing that all your life. If you say you understand my knowledge, you have done nothing new.” He then joined some of the eight points to the others with lines; the result was a long trapezoid figure, that had eight centers of uneven radiation. “Each of these six remaing points is a world, just like feeling and understanding is for you”...As far as I know there are only eight points a man is capable of handling. Perhaps men can go beyond that. And I said handling, not understanding... Your problem is that you want to understand everything, and that is not possible. If you insist on understanding, you are notconsidering your entire lot as a human being... Therefore you have done almost nothing in all these years. You have been shaken out of your slumber, true, but that could have been accomplished anyway by other circumstances...” 259
“You would say that the same leaf will never again fall from that same tree, true... I automatically looked and saw a leaf falling. It actually hit the same leaves and branches as the previous one. It was as if I were looking at a television replay. “Look he said... there goes the same leaf again. I once more saw a leaf falling in exactly the same pattern as the previous two.... I don’t understand how you are making me see a repetition of what I have seen before... “It is impossible”... “You are chained to your reason.”
Ser Don Genaro på en bjergtop mange kilometer borte... He said there was nothing to understand about his or Don Genaro’s actions, and that sorcerers were quite capable of performing extraordinary feats.
“Genaro and I are acting from here” He said, and pointed to one of the centers of radiation in his diafragm. “And it is not the center of understanding, yet you know what it is”.
Journey to Ixtlan (Simon and Schuster, 1972)
Maj 22, 1971
Den dag, og de følgende afsluttes Casteneda’s lære periode.
Repetition: Don Juan havde anvendt tre planter i læreforløbet: Datura inoxia (Jimson’s weed), lophophora williamsii (peyote), og en svamp af arten psilocybe. Han har ikke forsøgt at beskrive Don Juan’s kulturelle miljø. Alle samtaler foregik på spansk. “For a sorcerer, reality, or the world as we know it, is only a description... He pointed out, that everyone who comes into contact with a child is a teacher who incessantly describes the world to him, until the moment when the child is capable of perceiving the world as it is described. According to Don Juan, we have no memory of the portentous event, simply because none of us couldpossibly have haad any point of reference to compare it to anything else... For Don Juan, then, the reality of our day-to-day life consists of an endless flow of perceptual interpretations which we, the individuals who share a specific membership, have learned to make in common.”
“A warrior proceeds strategically... If one wants to stop our fellow men, one must always be outside the circle, that presses them. That way one can always direct the pressure” 11 En anden mand skal skræmme et uartigt barn (ikke barnets far), så vil barnet ændre sin opfattelse af verden. Og så tage drengen til et hospital og se en død dreng, og røre den døde drengs mave med venstre hånd.
“Fright never injures anyone. What injures the spirit is having someone always on your back, beating you, telling you what to do and not to do.”
“Everything I have told you to do was a technique for stopping the world.” 13
Psykedeliske planter var ikke hovedsagen i en sorcerers teknik, men en måde at forstå andre ting, der ikke kunne forståes på anden måde.
“In order to arrive at “seeing” one first had to “stop the world”...” 14
Midten af 1960
Møder plantekenderen. Cabellero, I am a horseman without a horse. Juan Matus. Derefter forbereder Casteneda sig i seks måneder, ved at læse om peyote
December 17, 1960
“I like to walk a great deal” 21
Pay me for my time... with your time” “Plants are very peculiar things... they are alive... and they feel”
“Perhaps there is nothing to learn about plants, because there is nothing to say about them... He repeated the statement three times and then the whole area was shaken by the roar of an Air Force jet flying low... There the world has just agreed with me...” 23
“He said that he never drank, not even beer... People hardly ever realize that we can cut anything from our lives, any time, just like that. He snapped his fingers... Smoking and drinking are nothing. Nothing at all if we want to drop them”.
“When will you be home?... Whenever you come... What if you are not in? I’ll be there.
No camera no taperecorder. “No, only one thing is indispensable: One cannot do without the spirit. And you don’t have it.”
December 22, 1960
Erasing personal history.
Forsøget på at udfylde slægtskabsskemaet. “I don’t have any personal history... One day I found out that personal history was no longer necessary for me, and like drinking I dropped it.... One must first have the desire to drop it... And then one must proceed harmoniously to chop it off, little by little...”29
“... The fact that I know whether I am a Yaqui or not does not make it personal history. And I assure you, that no one will ever know for sure... You must renew your personal history by telling parents, your relatives and your friends everything you do. On the other hand, if you have no personal history, no explanations are needed. Nobody is angry or disillusioned with your acts. And above all no one pins you down with their thoughts.... The way we ended up talking about it was because I said that to ask questions about one’s past is a bunch of crap” 30-31
“It is best to erase all personal history... because that would make us free from the encumbering thoughts of other people... I have little by little created a fog about my life. And now nobody knows for surewho I am or what I do... But you yourself know who you are, don’t you?... You bet I... don’t...”32
“That is the little secret I am going to give you today... Nobody knowsmy personal history. Nobody knows who I am or what I do. Not even I” 32
“Little by little you must create a fog around your self; you must erase everythng around you until nothing is any longer for sure, or real. Your problem now is that you are too real. Your endeavors are too real; your moods are too real. Don’t take things so for granted. You must begin to erase yourself... Let us put it this way...If you want to learn about plants, since the there is really nothing to say about them, you must, among other things, erase your personal history. How, I asked. Begin with simple things, such as not revealing what you really do. Then you must leave everyone who knows you well. This way you will build up a fog around yourself... What is wrong is, that once they know you, you are an affair taken for granted and from that moment on you won’t be able to break the tie of their thoughts. I personally like the ultimate freedom of being unknown. No one knows me with steadfast certainty, the way people know you, for instance”. 33-34
“When one does not have a personal history... nothing that one says can be taken for a lie. Your trouble is, that you have to explain everything to everybody, compulsively, and at the same time you want to keep the freshness, the newness of what you do. Well since you can’t excite after explaining everything you’ve done, you lie in order to keep on going”. 34-35
“From now on” he said, “ you must simply show people whatever you care to show them, but without ever telling exactly how you’ve done it... You see,” he went on, “ we only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don’t. If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourself and with the world. If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves... When nothing is for sure we remain alert, perenially on our toes...” 35
Casteneda taler med den ven, der satte ham i forbindelse med Don Juan. Men vennen mente, at Casteneda overdrev.
December 28, 1960
De går. Casteneda lærer en måde at gå på: krumme fingrene let, og vær opmærksom på omgivelserne. Bær aldrig noget i hænderne. Tørstig. Drik ikke, tyg disse blade. En krage flyver forbi. Don Juan bliver alvorlig. Det er et varsel. En vind kaster en gren. En varsel. Casteneda synes han er en nar.
“You take yourself too seriously... You are too damn important in your own mind. That must be changed... Your so damn important that you can afford to leave if things don’t go your way...” 41
Tal til planterne. Det har Casteneda svært ved.
“The world around us is a mystery”, he said, “And men are no better than anything else. If a little plant is generous with us, we must thank her, or perhaps she will not let us go...”45
The second ring of power, 1977, Carlos Casteneda
Efter springet ud i afgrunden i Sierra Madre i Central Mexico. Sammen med Pablito. I følge Don Juan: Ved at springe bliver du ren preception, og bevæger dig frem og tilbage mellem al skabelses to sider, tonal og nagual. 17 elastikspring mellem tonal og nagual.
Du kan komme i kontakt med mig gennem: christian.svendsen@hotmail.com